"Since then, as philosophers prove, appearance tyrannizes over truth and is lord of happiness, to appearance I must devote myself. I will describe around me a picture and shadow of virtue to be the vestibule and exterior of my house; behind I will trail the subtle and crafty fox.... But I hear some one exclaiming that the concealment of wickedness is often difficult; to which I answer, 'Nothing great is easy.'"

- Glaucon, The Republic, Book II, by Plato. Translation by Benjamin Jowett

Why praise justice over injustice? Glaucon (and Adeimantus too, but his toga's not nearly as shiny) argues that it is far better to appear just while secretly being unjust. Glaucon compares the perfectly just sistafriend to the perfectly unjust sistafriend. He says the worst kind of injustice is to appear just when you are not, when you manage to convince everyone that you are a great person despite your interests in robbing little old ladies and knowingly spreading syphilis, possibly at the same time.

Everyone loves the perfectly unjust sistafriend. Glaucon says the perfectly just sistafriend shouldn't practice justice for the praise and rewards it brings, or else it could be said that perfectly just sistafriend is totally doing it for the nookie. Glaucon makes sure that everybody hates the perfectly just sistafriend. Bitch is always acting all high and mighty. Well, not really, being perfectly just and all, but what? You think you so much better than the rest us? What now, perfectly just sistafriend?

The question posed by Glaucon is this: Why do all good sistafriends rave about justice when being unjust is way easier and generally involves sexier men with equally loose morals? What's so great about justice in itself that is worth pursuing? Socrates compares the question to reading small print, which is somehow easier to read if you read the same words in a larger size. (I guess... Athens had never seen the fine print on a credit card statement.) Justice is a virtue of both states and individuals, so by examining justice on a bigger scale, it will easier to determine the properties of justice.

Now the kids pull out their legos and build a perfect society in order to figure it all out.

Close Encounters of the Ancient Greek Kind

"According to the tradition, Gyges was a shepherd in the service of the king of Lydia; there was a great storm, an an earthquake made an opening in the earth at the place where he was feeding his flock. Amazed at the sight, he descended into the opening, where, among other marvels, he beheld a hollow brazen horse, having doors, at which he stooping and looking in saw a dead body of stature, as appeared to him, more than human, and having nothing on but a gold ring; this he took from the finger of the dead and reascended."

- Glaucon, The Republic, Book II, by Plato. Translation by Benjamin Jowett

The first thing that went through my mind when I read this was "Girlfriend, that ain't no horse! That there is a UFO with an alien in it." So I got on that there internet and no one else has put it together. The story is obviously an example of a encounter with a crashed UFO. There's a storm, the alien craft crashes near Gyges, who then climbs down into the crater to find some kind of metal object that he could enter, which has a dead alien in it. The ring is an advanced alien technology that lets the wearer turn invisible.

I can't find anyone else on the internet who thinks so, but I stand by my belief in extraterrestrial horses. The greys have been here, and they enjoy fancy jewelry just like any good sistafriend. A good sistafriend also enjoys a debate, and Glaucon's got one for us: If you had a ring that made you invisible, would you act unjustly or in his words: "No man would keep his hands off what he liked out of the market, or go into houses and lie with any one at his pleasure, or kill or release from prison whom he would, and in all respects be like a God among men."

He has a point. I don't think I could keep from using my invisibility for evil. Small evil only though. I might shoplift a little something from a megachain, or spy on a crooked politician. After a while, I think the power would go to my head. This sistafriend is only human, and I guess the aliens figured out justice or else technology is just going to make everything a lot worse.

1.5.2 - 'The Republic' (Book II) by Plato

"But still I acknowledge that I am perplexed when I hear the voices of Thrasymachus and myriads of others dinning in my ears; and, on the other hand, I have never yet heard the superiority of justice to injustice maintained by any one in a satisfactory way. I want to hear justice praised in respect of itself; then I shall be satisfied, and you are the person from whom I think that I am most likely to hear this."

- Glaucon, The Republic, Book II, by Plato. Translation by Benjamin Jowett

Sistafriend Socrates may have beaten Thrasymachus, but Book II starts with Glaucon, Plato's brother, telling Socrates that he really wants to be persuaded into believing justice is better than injustice. He presents three kinds of goods to Socrates:

1. Things enjoyed for their own sake


2. Things enjoyed for the sake of their results


3. Things enjoyed both for their own sake and the sake of their results

Then Glaucon asks Socrates, where does he place Justice? Socrates, of course, places Justice in the "highest class", things that are good in themselves and for the results they bring. Glaucon goes on to say that "the many of are of another mind; they think that justice is to be reckoned in the troublesome class, among goods which are to be pursued for the sake of rewards and of reputation, but in themselves are disagreeable and rather to be avoided." (Socrates notes that this was Thrasymachus's position but he is "too stupid to be convinced by him.")

Glaucon, however, has a plan. He's going to argue Thrasymachus's position just so Socrates can defend Justice and prove that it is better than injustice. He argues that if anyone can do it, Socrates can...

A most excellent end to Book I

And the end or use of a horse or of anything would be that which could not be accomplished, or not so well accomplished, by any other thing? ... And that to which an end is appointed has also an excellence? ... And the same is true of all other things; they have each of them an end and a special excellence? ... I might say the same of the ears; when deprived of their own proper excellence they cannot fulfill their end?

Well; and has not the soul an end which nothing else can fulfill? for example, to super-intend and command and deliberate and the like. Are not these functions proper to the soul, and can they rightly be assigned to any other? ... And is not life to be reckoned among the ends of the soul? ... And has not the soul an excellence also? ... And can she or can she not fulfill her own ends when deprived of that excellence? ... And we have admitted that justice is the excellence of the soul, and injustice the defect of the soul?

- Socrates, The Republic, Book I, by Plato. Translation by Benjamin Jowett

I gotta say, the Socratic Method makes putting together a meaningful quote much more difficult, but following the argument is more fun when Socrates makes a fool out of his opponent. Sistafriend takes Thrasymachus and puts that queen in her place. Thrasymachus just gives up eventually and just goes along with whatever Socrates asserts.

There's this bit where Socrates claims that an unjust society would soon be filled with thieves and robbers, and everyone would be so distrustful of everyone else that nothing would ever be accomplished and the society would soon fall apart. He concludes that justice provides people with good lives.

Then he goes off on another tangent to that explain things have excellences and ends, that is, what the object or action does and why they do it. If you can't perform your excellence, Socrates explains, then you can't reach your desired end. For example, you go down to the mall and buy yo'self an outfit that makes your ass look great and you so certain you gonna hook up when you go out clubbing tonight. Well, the outfit's excellence is making you look good, and its end is to get you laid. If the outfit keeps you from looking good, then it's harder to get laid.

So what's the soul's end? Socrates would hope that a happy and healthy life would be the desired end of the soul's influence, and the excellence that provides that is justice. But by this point, Socrates realizes that he has gone off topic, and it's time now to return to the question at hand: What is justice?

Queens of the Old Republic

"Arts and governments ... rule and provide for the interests of their subjects who are the weaker and not the stronger -- to their good they attend and not to the good of the superior.... No one is willing to govern; because no one likes to take in hand the reformation of evils which are not his concern without remuneration....In order that rulers may be willing to rule, they must be paid in one of three modes of payment: money, or honour, or a penalty for refusing."

- Socrates, The Republic, Book I, by Plato. Translation by Benjamin Jowett

If you recall from last time, Thrasymachus the Sophist was all up in Socrates's face and being all like "Bitch! Whoeva's in charge decides what justice is, and that person's gonna do what's in her best interest. Then that diva's gonna make everyone do what she says, creatin' the laws that define justice."

Ready for Socrates's reply? Sistafriend's all like, "Girl, don't choo know that all arts and sciences care for the interests of their subjects, which is the weaker not the stonger? And don't choo know that there's a difference between doing something and gettin' paid for it?" Socrates claims that no one would get involved in politics without some kind of incentive, because, let's face it, it sucks to be the girlfriend who raises your taxes unless you also be gettin' fringe benefits. Socrates goes on to say that if it's not for the money or the prestige, then it's because some other drag queen with dreams of bigger hair than yours might be named Miss Gay America 380 BC, and the people will not stand for it!

Girl, that's some convoluted logic you got there!

"And the different forms of government make laws democratical, aristocratical, tyrannical, with a view to their several interests; and these laws, which are made by them for their own interests, are the justice which they deliver to their subjects, and him who transgresses them they punish as a breaker of the law, and unjust. And that is what I mean when I say that in all states there is the same principle of justice, which is the interest of the government; and as the government must be supposed to have power, the only reasonable conclusion is, that everywhere there is one principle of justice, which is the interest of the stronger."

- Thrasymachus the Sophist, The Republic, Book I, by Plato, translated by Benjamin Jowett

Sistafriends Socrates and Polemarchus manage to refute the common definitions of justice when Thrasymachus the Sophist interrupts angrily, shouting out some of the things this sistafriend would have liked to add to the debate. His first point is that Justice is defined by whoever is in power, and the laws they create are the standard by which Justice is measured. (Whoo! SistaFriend been workin' her brain cells!)

He's supposed to be the bad guy, but I think Thrasymachus has a really good point. Definitions of Justice do depend on the culture they come from. The girlfriends in The Republic argue that rulers don't always create laws which are in their interest, so if Justice is following the law, but the laws are harmful, then it is not exactly in the interest of the ruler(s). Therefore, Thrasymachus's definition of Justice is not entirely sound.

Girlfriend counters by arguing that when they make a mistake, they can't be considered the "stronger", so his definition still applies. He goes on to say that while skilled artists (like physicians, arithmeticians, or grammarians) might make a mistake, they are not defined by their mistakes. A doctor makes a mistake in treating a patient, but that mistake is not what makes them a doctor. When a skilled artist makes a mistake, their skill fails them, and they temporarily cease to be a skilled artist. So therefore a ruler is a real ruler only when they are making laws that are in their interest.

Okay, Thrasie, you lost me now.

In search of justice

"That is to say, justice is useful when money is useless?"

"That is the inference."

"And when you want to keep a pruning-hook safe, then justice is useful to the individual and to the state; but when you want to use it, then the art of the vine-dresser? [...] And when you want to keep a shield or a lyre, and not to use them, you would say that justice is useful; but when you want to use them, then the art of the soldier or of the musician? [...] And so of all other things -- justice is useful when they are useless, and useless when they are useful?"

"That is the inference."

"Then justice is not good for much."

- Socrates and Polemarchus, The Republic, Book I, by Plato. Translation by Benjamin Jowett

This quote comes from a part of The Republic where sistafriend Polemarchus presents a popular definition of justice: "that justice consists in the repayment of debts, and that good is the debt which a man owes to his friend, and evil the debt which he owes to his enemies." Socrates ain't havin' none of that, no sir, and so he gets all socratic method on his ass.

Sistafriend Socrates tries to compare justice to things like medicine, horsemanship, and vine-dressing, but sistafriend, please! Them things is professions and crafts, and justice is a virtue. It's not a fair comparison.

Socrates also points out that your friends may not be the best people, and that helping them out may not be a just act. So doing a good thing for a bad person you don't know is bad is unjust.